well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize