good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
