Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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