So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So much rum. So many feels.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize