So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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