FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
