If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
