you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
