I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
