we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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