No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
