I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
