margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
