Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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