I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
