Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize