remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
