if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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