running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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