So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
