D3 body, D1 cock
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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