If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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