If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
