dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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