I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
