oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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