Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize