Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
