I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize