Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
