So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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