franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
