I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
