is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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