At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
