Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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