Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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