im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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