she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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