But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
