Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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