sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
