i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's shark week go big or go home
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
