she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
