i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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