Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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