Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
