i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
