Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
