I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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