Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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