You smell like a Billy Joel song
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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