I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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