I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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