HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
