Swine flu. Run for my life!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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