yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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