i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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