playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Drake has all the answers
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
