There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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